I need advice. My Maine Coon is NOT friendly

There is an old post on the Reddit.com website with the title: I Need Help/Advice. My Maine Coon Is NOT Friendly. The owner wants help to try and figure out why her neutered male cat behaves as he does.
He’ll sleep with me sometimes at night and tolerate petting, but does not like to be held, and turns to bite if you pet him “too much”. (Which is often 2-3 pets)

She says that he came from a breeder whose other Maine Coons (MCs) are friendlier. 

The way I see it is that the overarching character trait of the Maine Coon is perhaps not - in general - as 'lovey' and accepting of petting as some other cat breeds. And I always refer to Gloria Stephens who was or still is a cat show judge, Maine Coon owner and author (Legacy of the Cat). She has firsthand experience and lots of experience on the character of the MC.

She's clear on the MC character:

They do not constantly demand attention, preferring to hang out with their owners. They do not necessarily want to be held, but they do want to be close to the person they love.

That description fairly well sums up the issues that this Maine Coon owner is having with her cat. She says that her cat is friendly but not as friendly as the other siblings and perhaps not as friendly as her expectations. It seems that we have here an expectation management issue as well.

Not all Maine Coons are lovey
MC from ATTY KATS 2022.  This cat is here to illustrate the page only. I have no idea as to this cat's character.

People tend to think of domestic cats as all having a similar character and that they all like being petted. Not all domestic cats like to be petted. Some tolerate it and some really like it. It is down to the individual cat's character.

RELATED: Do cats dislike having their tails petted? Learn the opinion of a research team.

It is same with Maine Coons. There is this overarching character trait which is perhaps not quite as overtly friendly as some other cat breeds or non-purebred cats and within that umbrella character, let's call it, there will be the characters of individual cats. This lady lives with a cat who is not that fond of being petted.

This, in my view, is normal if you strip away the expectation that all cats like to be petted which they don't.

Gloria Stephens also says that some Maine Coons develop a very strong attachment to their owners and don't like it when their owners are away. That would apply to most domestic cats however.

She says that "most are nothing but sweet cats". That implies that some Maine coon cats are not sweet of character. This, too, is to be expected. There are so many different reasons why cats develop their own character. We are going back to the usual discussion about nature and nurture. They inherit a certain character and then there's the experiences that they encounter during their lives.

There might be something within this owner's lifestyle which upsets her cat as well. I don't think there is but a bit of detective work might be useful.

I can recall a discussion about the character of Ragdoll cats. And one owner said that her cat was aggressive. The point here is that not all Ragdoll cats are going to be super laid-back and relaxed about everything. Sometimes Ragdoll cats can be aggressive like any other cat. This, too, is partly about expectation management. People are told that Ragdoll cats are laid-back but not all of them are.


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